You Are Not Alone

This is a precious and painful, dragging and fleeting time.

Your new baby is on the outside but sometimes their cries tell you “I wanna be back in!!!”

Which kind of makes sense…it was safe, warm, and close to you in there. They didn’t get cold or have scratchy diapers rubbing their skin. All their nutrients just poofed right to them. They were gently rocked, and held 24/7, listening to the pleasant soundtrack of your blood whooshing and heart beating. Listening in on their family’s conversations and the gentle soundtrack of life noises and Cardi B…or um, Beethoven?

It was a simple and easy life. Man…can I go back?

Sometimes their crying makes you feel like you’d do anything to make it stop. It can make you feel crazy, desperate, for it to stop.

Ahh… what a miracle! Your baby’s cries are doing exactly what they’re meant to do…ensure their survival. Baby cries are designed so that their caregivers will do ANYTHING to soothe them and meet their needs. And, not just their caregivers, actually, but anyone within earshot, and some of us are more sensitive to those cries than others. That’s what compels that person in the grocery store to say things like “ummmm your baby looks kind of upset?” We promise, it’s not because they know better than you, or think you’re a shit mom. It’s because it can be uncomfortable to hear a distressed baby—and also, because he/she may need to work on their ability to restrain themselves from making ridiculous comments in response to their own anxiety. **EYE ROLLS**

So what do you do?

You change their diaper, feed them, burp them, wrap them up, feed them again, skin-to-skin, re-wrap, un-wrap, rock, bounce, swing, sing, coo, pat, drive 35 times around the block desperately singing jingle bells because it’s the only song you know while your baby cries in their car seat in the back seat, you hide in your closet, scream into a pillow, take some breaths and you’re ready to run through the list again until you figure it out. All the while your precious baby sees you scrambling, sees you desperately trying to help, and even when you get it wrong, you are getting it right. Because you are not giving up.

You’re saying “sweet baby I’m with you. Your cries hurt my soul because I’m not yet sure how to help. But I’m going to try and try and try until I get it right. We are going to figure this out together. You are not alone.”

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone. 

You have wisdom within you that knows.

It will guide you to do exactly the thing your baby needs. The baby in you that was once held and rocked and soothed will tell you what to do. This inner wisdom knows better than google or gentle parenting Instagram accounts, or this blog. It’s hard to tap into that wisdom when your brain is foggy from sleep deprivation, when you’re peeing when you sneeze and your shirt is covered in spit up. When you can’t hear yourself think. When you yourself are not fully supported by a community of care. 

We are rooting for you.

Together, let’s turn down the noise and tap into the wisdom. We would be honored to walk alongside you through the moments of uncertainty, as you embark on this wild journey to a place of remembering what you already know.